Midnight Thoughts
by Marcelineswe
Summary: Mairin has insomnia, and so she starts thinking about her life. Her past, present and future. Is she doing things right? Why does she feel like that? Late night thoughts. (GrownUp!Mairin and Alan)


Midnight. 00:13, the clock marked. Alan's breathing was the only noise in the room, and his chest going up and down along with his breathing, was, the only thing moving in the room. Mairin was still in his arms, wanting to sleep too, but she couldn't. Those insomniac nights were kind of torturing for her, because she started thinking about her life and asking herself if she was doing her best or if she could do something better with it. That night wasn't an exception.

She had moved with Alan recently, to a standard but comfortable house outside Lumiose City. Living with him was something new for her, and being in a place so quiet and peaceful made it better. One of her favourite things to do (after finishing house work like, unpacking boxes and decorating the house) was drinking her 7:00 o'clock coffee outside, watching children play with orange, yellow and brown leaves that fell into the floor because of autumn, while the sun starts going down, giving a golden light that makes Mairin feel calm. Of course she had a lot of work to do, since she had to work in her juice shop, finish moving things and plan her wedding. Alan's day wasn't that stressful, he just worked in Professor Sycamore's lab and then go to his house, somedays he would go and help Mairin in her shop, but not much more than that.

Having that relaxing way of life, being in peace with no Team Flare around them (The new one, _Team Flare Rebirth_ , commanded by Madamme Florette, a mad woman who followed Lysandre's ideals) trying to get Alan work with them again, looks like a really happy way of life for an engaged couple, but even with that, Mairin wasn't happy... she wasn't feeling contented. Like if something was missing with her life, something that wouldn't let her be completely happy.

What she truly wanted was to see her mother again. She needed a person to be proud of her, to be excited for her engagement (besides Professor Sycamore and Bonnie) and someone to give her advices, but _those_ mother advices.

Both Alan and Mairin came from broken families. Alan's parents died during an assault, a bomb exploded in Lumiose Tower and the explosion reached the shop where Alan's mother was working, along with his father too. Being Sycamore Marie's brother, autorities gave Alan to him.

Alan had grown up inside Sycamore's lab. He didn't went to school, Sycamore taught him everything he needed to learn, from maths, french and english, physics, to pokémon basic medicine, the basics to become a professor and all kind of things that made Alan be into pokémon.

Mairin's parents got divorced when she was very young. Her mother was a melancholic and depressive woman who worked as a gardener to maintain her two children. Mairin's brother, Emil, had mental issues, popularly known as _retard._ He was 3 years older than Mairin, but because of his condition, his brain was less developed than hers and so Mairin quickly became a "fake" bigger sister. One day, Cyrille (Mairin's mother) left both of her children with their father, running away. No one saw her again, they know nothing about her.

Benjamin, Mairin and Emil's father, was a drug dealer. He was almost never in his house (if that _thing with four walls and an iron sheet_ could be called a house) and Mairin had to take care of her brother.

She, one day, decided her and Emil's suffering had to be over. So she packed basic things to survive, and went to her grandma's house (with Emil, too). They ran away from _that thing that cannot be called home._ Their grandma recieved them with open arms, and finally a bit of light ran through Mairin's life. She stayed there for one year, until her grandma told her about pokémon trainers. Mairin got so excited about the idea of becoming a trainer, and a few days later, she parted away from her grandma's house to Lumiose City, to visit Sycamore's lab.

Their children life wasn't the best one, but they were just about to become a new and loving family. Maybe what she wanted was children to raise with the love that she didn't have..? Maybe she wanted to see her brother again? She didn't know. It was something bothering her so much that it didn't let her sleep well.

Where the hell her mother was? What is she doing with her life? Was she even alive? Those kind of questions are the ones that pop out in Mairin's mind, those _insomniac nights._

" _Mairin... will you marry me?"_

She remembers the exact words and the exact place, like if it was yesterday. She was so excited about planning their wedding. Tasting lots of cakes, trying on dresses, looking for fancy places to organise the reception, looking for decorations... It's lot of stressing work to do, but sure it would be worth it, the memories of a wedding are unforgettable. Even though, Mairin was still worried. Who was going to take her to the shrine? She sure was NOT inviting her father. Maybe Emil? She didn't know.

Someone else could tell she had a perfect life. Living with her fiancé, having a successful job, and planning a wedding sounds amazing. Sounds. Because for her was _stressful_ and _tedious._ Every day she had to do the same, going to work, keep unpacking boxes, working a bit on their wedding and sleep. She barely had time to sit in the couch! Thankfully Alan was the cooker in the house (because Mairin could set the house on fire using the microwave) and so she could do something else, but still, her days were _stressful._

Suddenly Alan woke up. He heard sobs and felt his shirt get wet. He looked down and saw Mairin crying, still hugging him.

-What happened?- he said, running his fingers through her hair.

-Nothing, really. Keep sleeping.- Mairin said, sobbing.

-You can tell me, come on.- Alan said.

-I'll tell you tomorrow.-

-No, I want to hear it now.- he was determined to comfort his girlfriend.

-I can't stand it. How aren't you so stressed? Is it only me? My everyday is stressing and humdrum, and I can't stand it.- she said, angry, but with herself.

-You have to stop worrying about this things. I know your day is absolutely exhausting but you never ask for help...-

-I never ask for help because I feel like I am bothering you, or Bonnie. And I don't want to bother anyone because you're my only friends.- she said, hugging Alan stronger.

-You'll never bother me, neither Bonnie. Don't doubt about it, Mairin.-

-But..- she said, but Alan interrupted her.

-You know what? I'll help you in many ways I can. But promise me you won't do this again. I hate when you cry. Please.-

Mairin didn't say anyhting, she just closed her eyes, smiling.


End file.
